BatesMeron Creative Capitalism
Punny or Not: Your Dad Joke Survival List
“I’m hungry” (“Hi hungry, I’m Dad!”) Ah, a good dad joke, is there anything better? They are great for any occasion and will always make you laugh, no matter what mood you’re in. A great dad joke is almost always a variation on a pun and a punchline that’s both super ridiculous and obscure. As in the classic, “what do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.” With the holidays upon us, I have been building my arsenal, and as a way to give back, I am sharing them with you. These so-bad-they’re-good one-liners, puns, and funny jokes are going to make you the life of the party. Don’t believe me? Test them out on your friends and family during the holidays; you’re guaranteed to get a laugh from at least one of them.
- Did you get a hair cut? No, I got them all cut.
- Do you have a hole in your sock? No? Well then how did you get your foot in?
- How do you get a tissue to dance? Put a little boogie in it.
- When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
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- Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb.
- Why did the orange lose the race? It ran out of juice.
- Did you hear the joke about paper? Never mind, it’s tear-able.
- Did you hear about the guy who invented tic tacs? They say he made a mint.
- How do prisoners talk to each other? Cell phones.
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- Where do polar bears keep their money? The snow bank.
- What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-tain.
- Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
- Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two tired.
- What the best way to carve wood? Whittle by whittle.
- What the fish say when it ran into a wall? Dam.
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- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
- What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
- Did you hear about the ATM that got addicted to money? It suffered from withdrawals.
- What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
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- What do you call a funny mountain? Hill-arious.
- What’s a foot long and slippery? A slipper.
- Why shouldn’t you purchase Velcro? It’s a rip-off.
- What’s blue and not very heavy? Light blue.
- I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.
- How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans.
Have any favorite dad jokes you want to share? Send them my way todd@batesmeron.com!