As Halloween approaches, I thought it’d be helpful to provide some tips for ridding your house (or general whereabouts) from the likings of all things eerie and out to get you.
If you’re having problems with vampires, werewolves, ghosts and zombies, use this infographic at your own discretion.
I noticed a lack of witch removal so I did some of my own research. My findings suggest that a person is most likely a witch if she/he:
- Holds usual ceremonies and has no shadow (This is a clear ringer for trouble)
- Has uncuttable hair, red hair and/or green eyes
- Is followed around by black cats
- Frequently talks to herself (Beware, she might be casting a spell)
- Has talked about the struggles of work/life balance, even in passing, even on Facebook
- Has been inside of a cave for longer than an hour
- Has taken food she knew did not belong to her in a communal fridge, then lied about it
- Was born during a storm or laid eyes on Erykah Badu
- Has seen at least one full season of Gilmore Girls
Now that you’ve been prepped on how to spot a witch, it is important to know how to protect yourself. Molleus Maleficarum, a comprehensive witch-hunting guide published in 1486, advises you to wear a wax medallion containing a bit of salt blessed on Palm Sunday around your neck. Otherwise, you’re screwed.
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